Control That Everyday Scourge – Irritation

When you’re pushed from all sides for quick answers, quick results and quick fit-in jobs- . . . constantly interrupted . . . misunderstood because those around you haven’t listened and you have to repeat explanations. When you feel tired and have a headache and people make unreasonable demands . . . meet with criticism, ingratitude, intolerance and noise — it’s only natural to feel upset and irritated.

Irritation is common in this frenetic age. Even worse is the venting of it in snappy remarks like “Can’t you see I’m busy?” If you’ve spent a long time trying to do a job well, it’s easy to snarl, “If it isn’t right, do it yourself.” Yet, for your own sake and, because of the need to create harmony around you, it’s essential to develop the habit, not only of controlling but transcending irritation.

In the East, it is taught that irritation produces a subtle inner poison which cuts off the channels of life-giving electricity that should flow freely through our body as invisible waves of distorted force, building a stagnant, unpleasant atmosphere and contaminating everything around us. We’ve all experienced the negative effects of a place, sensing that something is wrong but we don’t quiet know what.

On the other hand, what a joy it is to visit the home of someone who is calm, positive, serene in difficult circumstances and quick to utter a constructive, tension-breaking remark. Such a person creates an atmosphere which uplifts the spirits and makes us feel good, no matter how humble the setting. Of course, there may be times when it is necessary to express justified annoyance; but we must learn to do this in non-damaging ways at the right time, not as a snap-back reaction. Sometimes silence is the only response. Hasty words, hurled in a flash of irritation, can have long-lasting adverse effects.

“Surely silence can be sometimes the most eloquent reply.” [Hadhrat Ali Ibn Abi Talib]

How can you protect yourself from expressing your own irritation, or from being at the receiving end of the another’s? You can strive to be detached, observant and analytical. Detachment helps us not to identify with negative impressions. When you observe things impersonally, trying to analyse and understand the cause, you minimise hurtful effects. What is happening?, Why?, How can you improve the situation?

“Ignore them and you take the wind out of their sails, get irritated you give them the upper hand.”

Dearest Reader! You must try to develop the habit of appreciation and gratitude — try to see something good about the person or situation irritating you, or think of the negative happening as your opportunity, perhaps, to learn self-control and patience. Pray that Almighty ALLAH will change you and give you wisdom to deal with the situations better. Patience is a virtue and shows inner strength, just to put yourself in a position you can smile at the situation and the irritation instead of getting upset with those causing it. You must try also, consciously, to build a joyful, beautiful atmosphere around you — through the beautiful creations of ALLAH, plants and flowers; through orderliness (which cuts down on unnecessary irritation caused by losing things); and making brief breaks when things become hectic.

Go to a window to breathe some fresh air, do some neck, shoulder and eye excercises to release tension, or take a quick walk around the garden if you’re at home. Those few moments of tranquility can restore you and enable to cope better with irritation circumstances. Respond, don’t react. A response is always considered creative and positive; a reaction usually hasty and negative. Strive, at least, for harmlessness in all you dealings.

And it helps to remember that those difficult people who upset and irritate us so much are our greatest teachers, for they help us develop qualities of patience and self-discipline. Since they, too, are part of ALLAH’S creation, we can pray for them, bless them silently, and ask for help in dealing with them. Above all, cultivate laughter, joy and serenity. These, perhaps, are your greatest weapons against that everyday scourge — irritation.

~The only lasting beauty is the beauty of the ♥~


Who Is The Ideal Woman?

All great men have been nurtured in the laps of women. As the famous saying states,

“Behind every successful man there is a woman.” It is either the touch of a loving mother or the embrace of a devoted wife which propels man to the summits of success. Men are molded in the shadows of ideal women.

The ideal woman is the nucleus of the family. She keeps bonds strong. Whilst the father is busy earning the daily bread, the ideal woman as a mother at home wraps the children in a blanket of love and affection. She tends to their needs and feeds them the love children so ardently desire. When the mother sits to worship her loving Creator, she positions her child next to her on the prayer mat. The child observes the mother inquisitively. As the days pass, the child begins to imitate her actions. A time comes where the child falls into prostration himself. Before the mother falls to the ground in the presence of her Mighty Lord, the child displays his servitude and tumbles into prostration. With the passage of time, the mother dons the child with Islamic attire. The child becomes accustomed to the times of prayer. There was a time when the mother would call him to prayer, now he races to the prayer mat and awaits his mother.

The ideal woman reads and narrates the stories of the Prophet (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) and Sahabah (RadhiAllahu Anhum) to the child. She inspires and infuses the child with lofty aspirations. She breathes into him the love of Islam and Jihad. She encourages the child to adopt the likes of Khalid bin Waleed and Salahuddin al-Ayyubi as heroes.

The ideal woman induces the love of ALLAH in her infant. She implants the hatred of the materialistic life in the eyes of her child. She places Halaal morsels into the small mouth of her child. She raises him with the Qur’aan resonating in his ears. She instills Prophetic values and ethics into the child. Above all, she teaches him the name of ALLAH and introduces her son to ALLAH. Her touch is imprinted and indented on the child. Such a mother is the ideal woman.

The ideal woman does not fall short in her duties to her husband. Upon seeing her husband, the flame of love is ignited and kindled in her bosom. She awaits her husband earnestly in the shadows of her home. When there is a knock on the door, her heart beats with excitement to see the love of her life. As she opens the door, she opens her arms to welcome and embrace her husband. The intensity of love is so high, the sight of one another dissolves all tiredness, frustration and pain.

The ideal woman is very sensitive to the feelings of her husband. His smile is her smile. His laugh is her laugh. His happiness is her happiness. She does all she can to keep face of the husband glowing with a smile. She gives her night and day to serve her prince.

The ideal woman is the coolness of her parent’s eyes. Her sight is cooling to the eyes and soothing to the soul. She serves her parents. She sits with her father and mother. She expresses her sentiments to them. She protects her chastity and honour. She is a source of pride and delight for the parents.

The ideal woman is a caring friend. Her shoulder is always nearby for a friend in need. She is a refuge for the weak ones. Others find solace and comfort in her midst. She expels evil, sadness and gloom with her soft touch. Her soft and warm tone draws the hearts together.

In essence, the ideal woman is the balance in society. She is the pivot of humanity. Her uprighteousness and soundness causes the society to be upright and sound. She is a treasure for the husband, a fortune for the children, a jewel for the parents and a blessing for humanity.

~The only lasting beauty is the beauty of the ♥~